The Incident
It was a dark and stormy night…….only kidding, the day was bright and sunny for our first morning with Tyler. We got up very early (like 6 am for an 8:30 appt) to make our way back to the Civil Affairs office to finalize the adoption paperwork.
Today, the construction area was even bigger so we had to park several blocks away this time, and make our way through even more equipment, welders, and piles of dirt.
We made our way back upstairs again, and we waited our turn while the other family processed their papers. We kept the kids busy with crayons and a coloring book, while Tyler showed one of the SWI workers his Elmo phone and said “are you back again?!” to her. She just started laughing. She obviously was well aware of his sense of humor.
When it was our turn to sign the papers, they asked us to describe him and I said “very active and very chatty!” All of the notaries started laughing and shaking their heads. We were told that he had been abandoned sometime in 2011 at a restaurant because he was blind. He is definitely not blind, but they probably did not have the proper resources to help with his vision issues. We were also told that he was a single child for his foster parents, which is odd since we have several pictures of him with foster grandparents who fostered several other children, so I guess that we’ll never be really sure of the truth. We were given a neat photo album with pictures of him through the years. One of the photos has a long note in Chinese written on the back, so we’ll have to get that translated.
As we bounced like Tigger back to our car, Tyler was full of lots and lots of energy, so we decided to take him and the rest of the kids back to the park that we had been in the day before. It started off fine, but since Tyler is a runner, Mom had to hold his hand tightly even at the playground. That became too hard after awhile, so they hit the stairs and walked up and over the bridge, 4-5 times in the heat. By that time, Mom needed a rest so Ash and Kyle to take a break for her. The next thing we heard was Kyle screaming at us that Tyler had fallen and was gushing blood. So we went racing over the bridge expecting to find a banged up knee, instead he had a big head gash that had blood everywhere. So Charlie pressed tissues on the head hard. By this time, we were trying to move him to shade to check the gash. At the same time, several Chinese people were trying to descend upon us – not helping but making us very nervous. So we told the kids to get a move on it, and we raced back out of the park to the hotel.
Once in our room, we called our guide to see if he needed medical attention. She arrived within the hour, texted a nurse friend his pictures and said yes, he must get to the hospital. So Charlie, our guide and Tyler took a cab to the “foreigners” hospital. Three stitches later, he came bouncing back into the room to announce “look at me!” while showing off his big bandaid. This war wound will now match the others of unknown origins on the other side of his face, nose and chin. He is obviously not a first timer to the ER. We’d also be willing to lay odds that this won’t be his last trip either!
Dad here…the hospital was actually fairly quiet when we arrive by Taxi after a 15 minute ride. (The ride sort of reminded me of the many taxi rides Lisa, Aunt Rita and I made to the hospitals in Guangzhou and Hong Kong with Ashley a few years ago.). A minute (yes, 60 seconds) after we arrived, our guide had communicated our case details to the nurse at the front desk, and we were told that the Doctor would be along in a few moments. A few moments later (it could not have been more than 3 minutes!) the doctor was at the front desk, giving Tyler’s noggin a good look. He nodded silently, glanced at the TWO other nurses that had accompanied him, and told our guide “Follow me…”. As we walked down the hall trailing the Doctor, the desk nurse said something to our Guide in Chinese. She told us that she would be happy to check us in and pay the bill, and then meet up with us later at the treatment room. We could just pay her back later. We agreed and away we went with the Doctor and nurses.
After a short walk and a shorter elevator ride to the second floor, we followed the Doctor into his office. He sat down in front of his computer, reached into his desk, pulled out 3 small pads of forms with checklists, and filled out all three. He pulled off the goldenrod copies for us, and took his official-looking red stamp out of the pocket of his pure white coat, and stamped all three forms. He stood up, told us, in broken English, to wait just a moment, as they prepared the treatment room just next door. In about 2 more minutes, they were ready for us. I handed Tyler from my arms to his, and took a seat. About 20 seconds later, after hearing Tyler’s wailing, he came out and asked me to join them in the Treatment Room. Before proceeding, I had to swap my shoes for a pair of way-too-small Adidas shower slippers that had seen many and better days. I went in and we laid Tyler down. My job was to secure his shoulders to the table, while other nurses secured his legs and head. He’s a little guy, but darn strong (and LOUD). Elapsed time so far was inside of 12 minutes.
With me literally at his left elbow (no mask, BTW), and our son-by-a-day squirming wildly on the table, the Doctor proceeded to give T-man a few shots of anesthetic, neatly install 3 stitches, clean up the wound, and apply a small gauze bandage – not for the squeamish, but very impressive. As Tyler sat up on the table, the nurses were speaking to him in Chinese assuring him that it was all over. Quickly, I grabbed my phone, swiped to the camera app, flipped to the front-facing camera, and let Tyler see that all the ruckus was about a small white gauze bandage about the size of a US nickel. He seemed very pleased that this was the extent of the damage, and calmed down instantly! We met up with our Guide outside in the hall, expressed our Thanks and XieXie’s and we were on our way. Total time start to finish was less than 35 minutes. Total Price was just under US$60. That’s WAY cheaper than any scar I’ve had or will ever have!!
On the way out of the hospital to catch our Taxi back to the hotel, our guide let slip that “the other” Starbucks shop was very near to the Hospital. I think she hoped that I’d let it pass, but instead, after a harrowing last few hours, I pounced. We made the 5 minute walk and in we went, in search of a Taiyuan Starbucks mug. (I wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass without at east a souvenir.) I found one that would look great on our LARGE kitchen table at Sunday breakfast. I was holding Tyler in my arms, as we waited to pay. Just in front of us on the counter, Tyler spotted a small bin of fruit-flavored suckers. He leaned over to grab one (after all, he’d earned it), so I helped him pick out a Strawberry. He then leaned over again toward the counter, and said “Gege, JieJie”, as he reached for a handful more. In all of the craziness of the past couple of hours, and after just more than ONE day as a Lockhead, Tyler wanted to make sure he was going to bring home suckers for his brothers and sisters! Wow!! What a precious little man we were blessed with… I’ll always remember that moment in the Taiyuan Starbucks. These are the little things that makes our trips unforgettable.
Later in the day, Kyle and I (Dad still here) went out to retrieve the laundry. We made the 15 minute walk to the area, but first stopped into the “supermarket” across the street from the laundry. We grabbed some AA batteries for Tyler’s toy phone, and also snagged some Oreos and Chips Ahoy Cookies, hoping that they would be the same as US versions. We crossed the street and went to the laundry. The same woman who took our laundry the other day was there to greet us. We gave her the receipt, and she brought our clothes out from the back. There were 3 large bags, each holding about 4 smaller clear plastic bags. She proceeded to open EVERY small bag, which was already labeled with the number of items, recount the items and assure me that everything had been accounted for. Thanks to Ryan and his working with us on our numbers, I actually understood her as she did the math to arrive at the correct total of 64 items. She gently tucked the items back into their respective bags, taking care not to disturb the folding.
As we were getting ready to leave, she kept trying to communicate with us in Mandarin. I pulled out my phone had used a translation app to try to have a conversation. Once she saw what I was doing, and not to be outdone, she opened up her iPad to HER translation app. She spoke into her phone, and the app spoke her words to me in English, while I typed furiously and I showed her my Chinese translations on my screen!! It was a lot more controlled than it seems. We had a genuinely fun time actually communicating – she thanked us for our business and said she was looking forward to our next visit – then I had to break the news to her that we’d likely never see her again. She told us that Americans are always so polite, and I countered with compliments on her shop and the cleanliness of the clothes. We went on for a few more minutes, before wrapping up with a request to take a photo with her – as I usually do when I make a meaningful connection. We each took photos on our devices and I thanked her one last time. (For just a brief moment, I had to fight the urge to type “How were you able to get our clothes so clean?” – hoping of course to receive the reply “Ancient Chinese Secret!”. But instead, I didn’t ask – and we just turned and walked out…). That’s it for Dad… Back to Mom…
We had a delicious local KFC dinner in room last night, and he liked that. Although he is very rough with pushing, pulling shirts, kicking and some biting, he is extra generous when sharing with his siblings. He kept making sure that Ashley had enough fries, to match what he had. After a big dinner and bath, he was passed out by 7:30 and slept 12 hours.
The other kids are a bit unnerved by his behaviors and ask why he is kicking and hitting (mainly Mom). He tried to take a few bites today. However, it really seems like he had zero boundaries in the past so nothing was off limits. Today Mom took his phone when he was kicking, so when the guide told him later that hitting and kicking is not allowed, he told her that Mom had taken his “papers.” I started laughing, as he probably meant his phone but used a different word
than the Mandarin word. He also calls for Gege loudly (for Kyle) to rescue him if he doesn’t like Mom disciplining him. He definitely is smart enough to know what is going on. When he is overstimulated and acting up, we just separate him from the others to settle a bit. He is learning our boundaries quickly, but as Dylan keeps telling us, he is very stubborn .
His foster parents must have carried him constantly, because he is continually telling us/yelling at us, in Chinese, to pick him up. And when we don’t, he tells the other kids to pick him up. He does not like to walk long distances and today sat down on a bench at some point and said something like “ahhhhh” when he sat down. Since he is a runner, one of us has the Ironman grip on him at all times. We went through another local park today along the Yellow River, and he looked like he would be easily ready to jump into the river for a swim, if we would have let him. He is very strong and will probably be very athletic. We were laughing with our guide today, because at times, he seems to be ordering us around or swearing at us in Chinese. Those are the parts she doesn’t translate!
Also, when he even remotely bumps any part of his body, he has to stop, whine and get it rubbed or kissed. He definitely is a bit younger in maturity than other five year olds. I think that we should have named him the Dramatic Hambone.
He doesn’t appear to have ever used crayons before, so we are trying to teach him how to color and make some shapes. He also looks at his flash cards a little bit. Hopefully in a few weeks, we’ll have some letters and his name down.
More coming soon…
Just all TOO FUNNY!